Resolution claiming IU is far superior thanUK fails to pass PDF Print E-mail
Written by George Browning   
Wednesday, 26 December 2012 00:00

Washington County Commissioner John Mishler thanked everyone who played a role in making his four years as commissioner a pleasant experience at his final regular meeting on Dec. 18.
After the pleasantries, the meeting took a turn.
Mishler has been a part of helping to start a plan commission, saw the long talked about by-pass in Salem completed, but he had one final item he wanted to get done.
Commissioner Attorney Paul Scifres drafted the resolution which basically stated that Indiana is far superior than the University of Kentucky.
Everyone had a good laugh and Commissioner President David Brown said he’d be willing to make a motion to pass the resolution.
Following is the entire resolution, which was just intended for entertainment purposes only:
RESOLUTION OF THE BOARD OF COMMISSIONERS OF WASHINGTON COUNTY, INDIANA DECLARING INDIANA UNIVERSITY TO BE SUPERIOR IN EVERY RESPECT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY
WHEREAS, the Board of Commissioners of Washington County, Indiana is empowered pursuant to Indiana Code §36-2-4-2 to adopt certain Ordinances and Resolutions in accordance with the provisions
of Indiana Law; and
WHEREAS, infiltrating into our County from the South, across the Ohio River, over the past
several years has been the misguided notion that there exists in Lexington, Kentucky a University that serves as an institution of higher learning; and
WHEREAS, several local citizens within Washington County, Indiana and outside its immediate
boundaries have fallen prey to the brainwashing propaganda that has been disseminated by said Lexington, Kentucky entities; and WHEREAS, pursuant to the police powers inherent in the Washington County, Indiana Board of Commissioners as the executive body thereof under the Constitution of the State of Indiana, it is within the power, and the duty of, the Washington County, Indiana Board of Commissioners to take necessary actions to look after the health, safety, and general welfare of its citizens; and
WHEREAS, due to the intermittent success of the varsity athletics sport programs of the aforementioned Lexington, Kentucky institution, several local Washington County, Indiana citizens have been misled into believing the propaganda that has infiltrated our State and local community from across
the Ohio River, causing a certain degree of unrepentant arrogance and shameful pride, detrimental to their general moral character and overall community esteem.
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the Board of Commissioners, Washington County, Indiana, as follows:
1. Indiana University, located in quaint and picturesque town just up the road known as Bloomington, in this beautiful State of Indiana, is deemed to provide an academic, cultural, and athletic atmosphere conducive to community pride and the betterment of the State’s
citizenry, and of all students who attend there.   
2. Pursuant to the powers vested in us, the Board of Commissioners of Washington County, Indiana, we hereby proclaim that all Indiana colleges and universities, and especially Indiana University, are superior institutions in all respects when compared to the academy for
budding professional athletes otherwise known as “U-K.”
3. A quarantine is hereby further proposed whereby all Washington County residents who have been infected with the virus leading to an opinion contrary to that offered in this Resolution are encouraged to relocate from the State of Indiana generally, and Washington County in particular, south across the Ohio River to revel in their mutual mediocrity.
4. This Resolution is prepared and presented at the request of outgoing Commissioner of the
First District of Washington County, Indiana, John Mishler , and is not to be taken seriously
and is offered only in jest.